Forgot my sword.
Whoo! Come on!
Abby.
Aah!
We got him.
We'll be there soon.
Who the hell are you people?
Well, my name is Hannibal King.
And this little hellion right here is Abigail.
Whistler's daughter.
I thought the vampires killed Whistler's family.
They did. I was born later out of wedlock.
When I came of age, I tracked my dad down,
and I told him I wanted in.
Been doing it ever since.
Welcome to the honeycomb hideout.
How do you bankroll this operation?
I date a lot of older men.
Come on, man, I'm joking.
You met Dex.
This is Hedges.
Sommerfield... she's the one who built that new serum inhaler of yours.
That runt you saw earlier, that was Sommerfield's daughter Zoe.
We call ourselves the Nightstalkers.
Hmm. Sounds like rejects from a Saturday morning cartoon.
We were gonna go with the Care Bears, but, uh, that was taken.
How many of you are there?
There's enough.
We operate in sleeper cells.
When one goes down, another cell activates to pick up the slack.
Consider us your reinforcements.
What, you amateurs are supposed to be helping me?
You?
Look at you.
You're kids.
You're not ready to roll with this.
I mean, look at the way you're dressed.
What, that's supposed to be tactical?
What is this? What is that? "Fuck you."
It's a joke, huh?
What the fuck is wrong with y'all? Y'all think this is a joke?
You think this is a fucking sitcom?
Okay, first off, that's just rude.
Second, I'm pretty sure we saved your ass back there.
I'm impressed.
Look, Blade, my father meant for us to help you.
Like it or not, we are all you got.
What the hell makes you think you know about hunting vampires?
Well, here's for starters.
I used to be one.
Do I pass the audition?
Rookies.
Fucking Hannibal King!
I should've ripped his bleeding heart out when I had the chance!
Ugh!
We had Blade.
We had him!
Ugh!
And don't tell me "I told you so," Asher.
What's wrong, half pint? You need a time out?
Blow me.
We got caught with our pants down.
Pants down?
They pretty much fucking ass-raped us.
Oh, you loved it.
Has he been told?
About your failure?
Yes.
Maybe it's time I joined the game.
You know the kind of woman that just screams trouble?
You see her and every warning bell in your brain starts going off,
but you still manage to ask for her number.
Well, that's all I ever hook up with.
But this betty...
Whoa! She blew 'em all away in the shitstorm sweepstakes.
Her name is Danica Talos.
You met her earlier.
And unlike typical vampires, her fangs are located in her vagina.
Moving on.
The man on her left is her brother Asher,
and this walking diaper stain is Jarko Grimwood.
I picked Danica up in a bar
and spent the next five years playing hide-and-go-suck
as her little vampire cabana boy.
Eventually, Abigail found me.
Sommerfield managed to treat me with a cure, and now I kill them.
And that's basically turning a frown upside-down.
We need to pool our resources, Blade.
"We"?
Yeah, we.
He's come back.
Take a look at this.
You gotta be kidding me.
Where'd you guys get this stuff?
I stole most of it. Danica had a huge collection.
You got stonework, ironwork, weaponry, art.
It's this stuff that shows up everywhere. This symbol, this glyph...
It's on everything in here.
He is real. You dig beneath all the... the myths,
all the layers of bullshit that have cluttered our culture for the last 500 years,
and eventually you're gonna strike the truth.
So the movies are true.
The movies are just a comforting fairy tale compared to the real deal.
Bram Stoker... he wrote a good yarn,
but the events that he described back in 1897...
God. That was just a tiny piece of the mosaic.
The real Dracula... his origins date back much, much earlier than that.
How early?
Try six or seven thousand years.
This is a piece of his armor.
With it, we were able to extrapolate a basic idea of what this fucker looked like.
Check this out.
Dracula's only one of the names he's gone by.
The Babylonians worshipped him as Dagon, and now they call him Drake.
If you believe in the legends, he was born in ancient Sumeria.
Nobody really knows the specifics of his origin, but we do know this.
He was the first of his kind.
The patriarch of Inominus nocturna.
He was born perfect.
And just like the great white shark, this guy has never had to evolve.
Forget the movies, forget the books.
There's no happy ending with this guy.
He's been there, moving behind the scenes,
cutting a bloody fucking path through the ages, until suddenly...
...just like that...
...he up and disappeared.
And then we heard a rumor.
The vampires were searching for him.
Some say he'd been sleeping through the ages,
that he'd retreated from a world he'd become disgusted with.
And according to our information, they found him in Iraq about six months ago.
And he was pissed.
Don't try to use my name, that's fatal
Tried to claim my fame, but that's fatal
About to raise the pain, that's fatal
Tried to claim my fame, but that's fatal
About to raise the pain, that's fatal
Bite through your jugular vein, that's fatal
In the window...
You sell vampire merchandise?
Uh, yeah.
Look around.
We might have a few things.
We've got Dracula lunchboxes.
Did you see those?
There's bobble heads, key chains.
This is funny.
That garlic gets me every time.
We've got just about anything.
Even vampire vibrators.
Here. Check this out.
Dra-cola.
Makes you want to cry, doesn't it?
Was there something special you needed?
Hey, guy.
She's talkin' to ya.
What?
You wanna kiss me, pretty boy?
Aah!
No!
Tried to claim my fame, but that's fatal
About to raise the pain, that's fatal
Bite through your jugular vein, that's fatal
Aah!
Bite through your jugular vein, that's fatal
Why wake up Drake now?
That's exactly what we've been trying to figure out.
When I was under the fang,
there used to be talk about some kind of vampire final solution.
But I could never figure out why they'd want to destroy their food source.
I mean, that makes no sense, right?
They've always had plans for the human race,
and it seems likely that whatever they're cooking up,
Drake's return is part of it.
Let's face it.
We are fighting a losing battle here.
So we kill a few hundred of them a year... big deal.
There are thousands of them out there, maybe tens of thousands.
We need a new tactic.
Like what?
A biological weapon.
For you sighted people...
...here's a little show and tell.
For the last year, I've been working with synthesized DNA
in order to create an artificial virus targeted specifically at vampires.
We're calling it DayStar.
Think about it, Blade.
We could wipe 'em all out in one single move.
So what's been holding you back?
The lethality in vampires is still spotty.
The bottom line is we need a better strand of DNA to work with.
We need Dracula's blood.
Because Dracula is the progenitor of the vampire race,
his DNA is still pure.
It hasn't been diluted by a hundred generations of selective mutation.
We get his blood, we can boost DayStar's viral efficacy to 100%.
All the vampires go bye-bye.
So, can we just go right ahead and sign you up
for one of our secret Nightstalker decoder rings?
Oh.
Holy shit.
Um, gentlemen and hottie,
uh, we have a wide assortment of ass-kickery
for your viewing pleasure today.
Electronic pistol... comes in a variety of tasty calibers.
Explosive rounds.
Yeah, but with a concentrated burst of UV light
instead of your standard hollow points.
I call 'em sun dogs.
Hedges. Super-size me, sweetheart.
This little pea shooter... it's a modified version
of the Army's objective individual combat weapon.
Pick your poison... sun dogs, stakes,
heat-seeking mini rockets.
Basically, whatever gets you hard, this puppy'll pump 'em out.
Course, it doesn't have the range of a sword, but...
Oh, God.
Over here, we, um...
we call this the UV Arc.
Whoa. Sorry.
The two points are connected by a powerful UV laser...
- Hedges, I'll take it from here. - Yes.
This bad boy is half as hot as the sun.
It can cut through vampires like a knife through butter.
We're still trying to sort out fact from fiction when it comes to Dracula.
Turning into mist? Kinda doubt it.
General shape-shifting? Maybe.
Not into a bat or a wolf or anything like that,
but another human, with practice, could be possible.
Because he wouldn't have a traditional skeletal structure.
Something more like a snake's, with thousands of tiny bones...
I have a... I have a question about that, Hedges.
Have you ever been laid?
Many times.
With ladies.
Time for a little pressure.
The weakest link in the vampire chain of command
has always been their familiars.
Since the vampires can't go out in the daylight,
they get the humans to do all their dirty work.
We bleed the wannabes...
Sooner or later, they'll take us right to the real.
I got you some new wheels.
You take care of it now.
She's making playlists.
She likes to listen to MP3s when she hunts.
It's like her own internal soundtrack, you know?
Dark core, trip hop, whatever kids are listening to these days.
Me, I'm more of a David Hasselhoff fan, you know?
Come on, come on like that, ya'll
Come on, come on, like that, y'all
Let me see you say ho
Aah!
Ah! Aah!
Eventually, you know, your head is gonna pop off.
Fuck! No, no! Please, please! Please.
Who's your handler?
I don't know my fucking handler.
I swear. I swear!
Oh, shit! Please! Please!
Oh, it's you.
I'll take that.
Come on!
Let's go! Come on!
Hello?
Hello, this is Dr. Vance. You paged me.
It's for you.
Yeah, go ahead.
Hello?
Aah!
You know, at some point, you, uh,
you might want to consider sitting down with somebody.
You know? Have a little share time?
Kick back? Get in touch with your inner child?
That sort of thing?
Also... just a thought... but you might wanna consider blinking once in a while.
I'm sorry, I, uh, I ate a lot of sugar today.
Hey.
You just can't walk in here like... aah!
Excuse me, sir.
Don't do that.
Where's Vance?
I'm sorry, but you can't see Dr. Vance right now.
Sit.
Can I, uh, can I help you?
Remember me? Time for payback.
All right, Vance, what the hell do you know?
Oh, Jesus.
It's him.
Abby. It's Drake!
Aah!
So, you're the hunter they all fear.
I had a feeling about you.
Just shoot him!
Go ahead, Blade.
Show me what you're made of.
Aah!
Aah! Oh, my God!
He got my baby!
Aah! No! My baby!
Ah, careful, Daywalker.
I've been told about you.
Your weakness for humans.
Why'd you kill Vance?
He'd outlived his purpose.
He died a good death.
Quick, clean.
I wouldn't know anything about that.
You will.
How are you able to survive in sunlight?
Haven't you read Stoker's fable?
I was the first of the vampires.
I am unique.
So that's why they brought you back.
Of course.
They believe through me they could become Daywalkers.
Look at them down there.
Scurrying around like insects.
They don't know anything about honor or living by the sword,
not like you and I do.
Do you think they could ever grasp what it means to be immortal?
You're not immortal.
I must've heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim.
Each one of them have tasted the end of my sword.
Perhaps I will too, then,
but I think it is more likely the next time we meet,
you fall before mine.
Catch!
Cootchie coo.
Did you see that guy?
We're gonna lose, man. We're gonna...
Oh! God!
We're gonna fucking lose!
What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other?
Shut up, King.
See you in 28 days.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
What are you... what is that? What are you doing?
It's an elastic protein, okay?
It's gonna stop the hemorrhaging.
Okay.
Is it gonna hurt?
Yeah, it's gonna sting a little.
Really?
Fuck me!
Aah!
I had a family once.
Wife, two daughters.
Then a drifter came calling one evening.
A vampire.
He toyed with 'em first.
Tried to make me decide which order they'd die in.
I've been doing this a long time.
Since before you were born.
I don't want this life for you, Abby.
Hey, Blade.
I got a question for you.
Say we're successful. Say we wipe out all the vampires.
What then, huh?
You ever ask yourself that?
I mean, somehow,
I... I don't picture you teaching karate at the local Y.
He hates me, doesn't he?
Yeah.
Why do you wear that symbol?
Old habits.
I was a good Catholic schoolgirl...
...once.
I was there when they crucified him.
He died for their sins.
Not mine.
And what are your sins?
Would you care to confess them?
Take it off.
Why?
I will make you a better one.
There's an old saying.
Kill one man, you're a murderer...
...kill a million, a king.
Kill 'em all...
...a god.
Why do you do that?
Because there's something bad inside of me.
This keeps it from getting out.
Why can't you just be nice?
Because the world isn't nice.
I found where the vampires are working.
Biomedica Enterprises.
They've been buying up all sorts of supplies.
Check it out.
Taq polymerase,
bone marrow growth supplement,
genetic sequencing enzymes.
You want a party favor?
Lucky seven.
Silver hollow points.
Done.
You wanted to see me?
We've got trouble.
Doing a little moonlighting, Chief?
Shit!
What are you doing here?
Talk.
Spill it!
You know what we're doing.
What's inside?
Aah!
Now, what's behind door number one?
I can't tell you. They... they'll kill me.
Kill you? Motherfucker, I'll kill you.
I'll just enjoy it better.
You know the routine.
Lights.
God in Heaven.
What is this place?
It's a blood farming facility.
Vampires decided that hunting humans on a piecemeal basis was...
too inefficient.
Why kill your prey when you can keep them alive?
Under optimal conditions, a donor can generate
anywhere from 50 to 100 pints of blood.
Productive.
Where do you get all these people?
They got processing centers in every major city.
At any given time, there's what,
two, three million homeless wandering around America?
They just pull 'em in off the streets.
Nobody cares about them.
We're doing this country a service, really.
Vampire final solution.
Are they aware?
Do they feel anything?
They're in a chemical-induced coma.
They're brain dead.
Look at this.
This the future you want?
Don't you think that they have a place for you in their future?
We don't have a choice!
They're going to win. Can't you see that?
He's come back!
There's nothing stopping them now.
There's me.
Go!
You got 20 seconds.
Twenty.
Shutdown password... what is it?
Harvest.
Put it in.
Let's go.
Where'd you go? See? I turned my back on you.
- Oh! You win. - One more, one more.
"Now, Nome King, having never tried to be good,
was very bad indeed."
"Having decided to conquer the land of Oz
and to destroy the Emerald City..."
This ain't no video game.
Come on, now.
Dude, you're dead.
Mom, the lights are weird.
What do you mean?
They're going on and off.
Guys?
Zoe, I want you to go, and I want you to hide, okay?
Like we talked about. Go on.
Zoe?
Get out of here, Zoe!
Hide!
Goddamn it, Zoe!
Goddamn it!
Aah!
Something's not right.
King!
Zoe?
Zoe.
Zoe?
Whistler.
Use it.
Aah!
Back off, pooch.
Jesus Christ!
What the fuck?!
Good dog.
What the fuck?!
His name's Pac-Man.
We've been porting the vampire gene into other species... experimenting.
You made a goddamn vampire Pomeranian?
Yeah.
Precious, isn't he?